Our Sadness
by Blue -Niagra
Summary: Oneshot. Natsume and Mikan graduated highschool and moved on with their lives. But when they meet again, there proves a problem... Sorry for late updates etc etc... Enjoy! NOT A HAPPY STORY! Blue -Niagra xxxxxx


**Our Sadness**

Oneshot. Natsume and Mikan had to go their seperate ways once graduating Alice Academy, and fail to keep in contact with each other. Years later, they meet again, but neither of them realise that their lives have changed drastically over the years...

Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to Gakuen Alice. Those rights belong to Tachibana Higuchi, one of the greatest mangaka's in Japan! Hopefully, she will let Natsume and Mikan be together at last in the manga.

Me: Hm... This one is gonna be saddening, I have to say, because the thing is... Well, you'll find out, won't you! I like making sad stories, but if you don't like them, then don't read it. The ending is less than happy for either Natsume or Mikan. So sorry!!

This story is based off of the song 'After the Lights' by Sweetbox. The song is indeed sad and sweet, and tells a love story between two people who can never be together. This is NOT a happy story!

Yay, I updated... My internet at home is still busted, so I'm using the school computers. Tankfully, they have let back into the whole system at school, yay! I can't believe they banned it...

Okay, please enjoy the story! I won't change it!!

**Our Sadness**

"Wow... We graduated... We _actually_ graduated," breathed a perm-haired girl, staring up at the podium where a weeping Narumi stood, dabbing at his eyes with a silk white handkerchief and worbling a speech into the small microhphone. He made no sense, but everyone who listened to him automatically burst into tears. Well, the girls did. The boys just grimaced, wondering what the heck Narumi was talking about.

Jinno soon pushed away the bumbling idiot of a teacher, and tapped the microphone, checking that it was working, and cleared his throat as the girls sniffed, staring at the teacher who fightened them so much. Even the boys listened because they were afraid that he would electrocute them.

"Ahem... I am sad to say that you are all leaving after this speech. You are all older, wiser and going your seperate ways. You will all possibly find jobs, get married and have children... And you will hold the memories of Alice Academy in your hearts... I am sad to see you all go," Jinno stated, which surprised everyone, because the usually strict teacher was suddenly trying to hide the tears in his eyes. A boy grinned, ready to say something about it, but someone poked him in the side sharply, glaring at him coldly. He grinned at the girl, wrapping an arm around her shoulder as she sighed gently, lowering her head onto his shoulder.

"It was a pleasure teaching you all, and we will miss you... Except for the delinquants, which include Kokoroyomi, Kitsuneme and of course, Mikan Sakura," Jinno suddenly said, grinning slightly as Koko, Kitsuneme and Mikan cried in uproar, angry that their teacher was trying to humiliate them one last time. Mikan gave a low growl, nashing her teeth together as the person beside her chuckled lightly. She whipped her head around to glare at the raven-haired graduate, who smirked as she narrowed her gaze at him.

"Oi! Stop _laughing_! I'm no delinquant!" she cried out loudly, not caring who heard her as Natsume quirked an eyebrow, then hooked an arm around her waist and pulled her closer to him. He put his lips close to her ear, tickeling her skin with his warm breath,

"You _know_ you aren't, honey... He's just making fun of you, don't let his words get to you... Anyway, be happy; You won't see him after this. You graduated. Smile," he told her as she blinked, realising that his words were true. Mikan was graduating, alongside her darling boyfriend... She smiled, batting her lashes slowly, then suddenly, she grasped it all.

Tears streaked down her eyes when she hit reality. It was graduation day... She would be leaving the Alice Academy, and most of her friends were leaving to go off to different countries or parts of Japan. Mikan gasped quietly, shaking her head. Natsume pulled her into a hug, and cradled her lovingly as she stared at the podium, crying her silent tears.

Suddenly, a loud wail was heard throughout the crowd, and surprisingly, it wasn't Mikan. It was in fact Hotaru Imai, the self-proclaimed Ice Princess, the monotonous beauty who barely showed a glimmer of emotion, barely let a smile pass her lips. The one person that everyone thought would never cry was sobbing her heart out and clinging to her boyfriend, Ruka Nogi, who looked just as surprised as everyone else as she grabbed his shirt and cried into it.

Natsume stared at Mikan, wide-eyed as she stared back at him, pursing her lips, then suddenly clinging to Hotaru from behind, like a little koala bear. Hotaru just sobbed louder. Jinno could not be heard from the podium, but nobody was listening to him;

They were too busy filming Hotaru crying. They were getting payback for the times that she had blackmailed them! The video was priceless, to say the least.

Hotaru was still crying when everyone was ready to leave, but so were the other girls. Sumire was holding onto Koko for dear life, whilst managing to hug all her friends. Koko looked a little gormless standing there as his girlfriend, well, fiancé, squeezed his hand tightly but ignored him as she talked to her friends and sobbed gently.

Anna and Nonoko were weeping because they were parting forever. Anna was off to Okanawa, and Nonoko was flying over to America to become a writer or teacher. Mikan wondered what would happen to her and Natsume; He was going to England to study some more and become a lawyer, whilst Mikan was staying in Tokyo, hoping to become a writer for a paper or maybe a TV host. She didn't know. She was still confused with what to dow ith her life.

Hotaru and Ruka, of course, were staying in Japan. Mikan was glad, because she didn't want them to leave. She would feel alone if they went off to America or Germany, like her other friends.

Everyone was leaving, and soon, Natsume, Mikan, Hotaru and Ruka were left alone, walking towards the school gates and staring at the school one last time. Natsume grinned as Mikan sighed,

"Wow... I'm finally leaving," he whispered as Mikan nodded, her eyes glazing over. Natsume heard her small sniffles, and in an attempt to keep her from crying, scooped her up into his arms and held her there as she buried her head into his shoulder, trying not to cry. Natsume kissed the top of her head, walking out of the gate with her in his arms as Ruka and Hotaru followed, their hands clasped tightly together, their fingers intwined.

It had been a long, sad day for them all...

Later that day, Mikan looked around her new apartment, where she would start her new life as an adult. She wondered what it would be like. It was so hard to picture a future without Natsume, without a few of her friends... Mikan wanted to cry, but it seemed she had wasted her tears.

Natsume also looked around, checking every single room and wall in the apartment. He didn't want Mikan to live badly. He cherished her too much, but he knew that she had too much pride to take money from him. Once he had checked every room, he pulled her towards him as she stared up at him sadly,

"You're leaving me tomorrow," she whispered, her tone mournful as he stared at her sorrowfully. He hated making her sad; It tore his heart in two. He cupped her pretty face in his hands and kissed her lips gently, then more tenderly as she closed her eyes, but did not respond.

Natsume pulled away, and wiped her red rimmed eyes, for tears were threatening to leak.

"I know, and I'm sorry that I can't stay with you... But we have different dreams, so we should follow them. Anyway... Can't we make our last night special? I want you to remember me thoroughly," he asked her with a cat-like grin playing on his lips as she blushed, smiling as best as she could. Natsume's grin widened, knowing that he would get what he wanted...

"Okay... Don't let me forget you, Natsume." she whispered, taking his hand in hers and leading him towards the bedroom as he followed her, knowing that he had mere hours to spend with his beautiful girl...

The next morning, Mikan woke up, all alone in her new bedroom. She stared at the empty space beside her, the sheets crumpled and a pillow or two laying on the floor. She sniffed, staring at the place where her beloved Natsume had been before she had finally falled asleep. Tears started to threaten her chocolate brown orbs, but before her vision could become blurred, she saw a square of paper folded where Natsume's head would have been.

Mikan sat up fully, picking up the piece of paper and gently unfolding it. Something dropped into her lap, but she took no notice of it; She was more interested in the letter that Natsume had left her,

_Dear Mikan,  
_

_Knowing you, you'll be asleep when I leave, so, I've decided to write you a letter; Last night was the most precious night  
I have ever experienced, well... Other than the nigth when we were 15 and you... Well, you get the gist._ Mikan giggled at this,  
then read on, _I'm sorry that I couldn't say goodbye to you, but I WILL kiss you before I go. I don't want to forget the taste of  
your lips, or your beautiful scent. I know for sure that you won't forget me, because this is ME we're talking about... Okay,  
enough talk about me... I'm sorry that we couldn't share on last moment together in the early morning, but I want you to know  
that I love you more than anything in the world, and I want you to be happy, no matter what. Marry, have kids... whatever. Just  
smile again. Don't mope around for me, don't wait for me. I promise you, though, that I will one day return, and I want you to  
welcome me and smile, even if you're married and happy. I love you with all my heart, my beautiful Mikan. Don't cry anymore,  
okay?_

_Love Your Natsume_

_P.S. Enclosed in this letter is a little something I wanted you to have. I forgot to give it to you on your birthday, so sorry. Hope you  
like it, sweetheart. Love Natsume XXX_

A small tear drop fell onto the small letter as Mikan finished reading it. She couldn't help but cry, even though Natsume had asked her not to. She stared at the paper for a while, her hand shaking slightly. It was a while before she remembered the small object that had dropped into her lap. She put the letter down, and picked up the small thing.

A beautiful gold pendant unfurled as she held the chain in the air, her eyes slightly wider than usual as she watched it shine in the dim sunlight that seeped into her bedroom; The pendant was shaped like a heart, and vines wrapped around it with one rose budding at the front. Mikan smiled, then turned it around, and saw a small inscription on the back.

She squinted through her tears, reading the tiny, italic printing on her pretty necklace;

_"When you smile, My life becomes worthwile,"_ she breathed, and more tears enveloped her eyes. Mikan dropped the pendant and fell into he pillow, her muffled sobs barely audible as she screamed and cried. How could she live a life without Natsume...?

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**6 Years Later**

It was a perfectly sunny morning in Tokyo, and many people were glad; There had been week of rainshowers and nothing else, so, the sun made a nice comeback, because the summer was just starting up.

A lot of mothers were in the park that day, or young couples were walking together, holding hands and smiling. It was a pretty day to have a walk, and that's what a certain man was doing. His hands deep in his pockets, looking around at all the mothers and couples who were enjoying the sun. He wondered what Mikan Sakura would be doing if she was at the park?

Probably running around, getting muddy and trying her hardest to climb up a tree.

Natsume grinned to himself, recalling a memory of Mikan running around in the rain one day at the Alice Academy, and catching a cold. Of course the idiot didn't think she would catch it; She thought she was immune, because she believed the rumour that idiots couldn't catch colds. Natsume stopped walking, then, and watched as a woman helped her son up when he fell over, then he stared at a teenage couple kissing on a bench.

When had he last kissed Mikan? 6 years ago. That so long... He touched his lips. He could still taste her kiss, smell her scent of roses mixed with sakura blossoms... Would she still remember him? This was Mikan, of course she would.

She never forgot her friends or loves too easily. She would have to have amnesia to forget a person so close to her. He hoped she still had the locket.

Natsume then asked himself if she still lived in that apartment, where he had stayed with her for one last night and left her the note and pendant. He would have to visit, just to see... He would then get to see her smile.

Oh, how he longed for Mikan's smile. It was like his sunlight through the rain. He yearned for those lips, for her... He just wanted to take her into his arms and carry her off, marry her and have children with her. He was already a successful lawyer; Money was no obligation. He would marry Mikan on the spot, if she let him. She probably would...

Natsume's thoughts were then broken off by a shrill cry from one of the mothers, who was looking for her child franticly,

"Yuki! Yuki, where _are_ you!?" cried the woman loudly, and Natsume noticed a dash of white running in his direction. He stared at the woman who was nearing him, looking for her lost child. When she passed, he saw the chestnut coloured hair, the chocolate brown orbs, and he caught the scne tof the girl he loved...

The woman stopped in her tracks all of a sudden, turning around slowly to see if it was true; If the person she had just passed _was_ the man she had yearned for for so many years...

When their eyes met, Mikan gasped, her hands flying to her mouth as Natsume stared at her, suddenly happy as she stared back at him, but something else enveloped her eyes other than happiness. Surprise? Shock? Well, he hadn't contacted her in 6 long years... She was bound to be surprised.

Natsume stepped closer to her, smiling a little as she blinked, her eyes becoming watery as he smirked, ready to pull her into a hug. It was then that it caught his eye;

A golden band around her ring finger. It wasn't something he had given her; He had handed her a pendant, not a ring. Reality then hit Natsume hard in the face as he stared at the ring in horror. Mikan knew he had found out, and shook her head sadly. How could she smile for him, now? Her smile was obviously for someone else, for someone who loved her like Natsume had.

He took a step back, then stared at her eyes as her hands slowly fell to her sides.

"Natsume, I..." she whispered gently as he shook his head, cutting her off.

"No... It's okay. You got married... You're happy now, right? I wanted you to be happy, and you are... I didn't want you to pine for me, Mikan... So I'm glad. I'm glad that you've found happiness," he whispered as she stared at him, the tears trickeling down her cheeks.

"Natsume, I don't think you understand," she told him quietly, but he cut her off yet again, not listening to her.

"I said it doesn't matter. I understand it all perfectly, Mikan. You're happy, now... So I will be, too. I'll live my life, and you will live yours." he said in a sad voice. Mikan knew that his heart was broken, but he didn't know that hers was broken, also. She walked towards him, but he paced backwards every step she took forward. Mikan could feel her heart tear into pieces slowly.

He was never going to listen to her again, because of the ring.

"Natsume... I want to tell you something, something importanr," she cried out, her voice choked as he smiled sadly, shaking his head and sighing,

"No, it's okay, Mikan... Anyway, I have to go. I'm a busy man. I'll be leaving for America soon, anyway. I just... Wanted to see you and say hello." he told her, then quickly turned around and took his leave as Mika's shoulders shook. The tears came down fast and heavy as she shook her head. She fell to her knee's, her quiet sobs cutting through her heart.

Small footsteps were then heard, and a small girl wearing a light pink dress with chestnut brown hair stopped in front of Mikan, staring at the woman with worry enveloping her eyes,

"Momma... What's wrong? Why are you crying? Did I do something bad? Are you hurt?" cried the little girl shrilly as Mikan stared up at her daughter, and the little girl saw her mothers tears, something she had never seen before. Mikan never cried in front of her child, her precious little girl.

"Momma..." whispered the child, and hugged Mikan tightly. Mikan wrapped her arms around her daught tightly, and picked her up, cradling the little girl.

"Momma has had her heart broken, Yuki... She is very very sad, now. The man momma loves does not love her anymore," Mikan whispered as the little girl blinked, wide-eyed. She then kissed her mothers cheeks, hugging her mother tightly.

"Please don't cry... You don't need a man, momma! I love you lots and lots! Please stop crying... Like your ring says; _When you smile, My life becomes worthwhile._ Please, smile!" cried little Yuki as Mikan stared at her daughter sadly, shaking her head.

"Sweety... Momma can't smile right now," she whispered, staring down at the gold ring that had the words her daughter had read out inscripted into the metal. If only Natsume had taken notice of the ring a little more closely. If he had just let her explain. She would have told him all about how her precious pendant had been lost down a drain, and about how she had replaced it with a ring, hoping that he would return to her and ask her to marry him.

Now he would never see her smile for him, he would never feel her embrace, and he would never know that Mikan stopped crying just for him, and waited patiently for his return. He would not realise how much she still loved him, and that she never forgot him.

Yuki put her small hand on Mikan's cheek as the woman stared at her precious daughter. The thing that she regretted the most, though, was that she never got to tell Natsume that her daughter had his beautiful, crimson red eyes...

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Thank you for reading if you DID read it... I liked writing this, but almost started to cry throughout it because it is quite sad, actually... I wasn't too happy about writing thise, though. Anyways, if you liked it, then yay! I did something right. If I made you cry, whoops, sorry... Anyways, thanks for reading!

_**Lots of love, Blue -Niagra**_

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